Inner Workings

In this story I'm creating, a man and woman who have yet to meet have been writing back and forth. He is a chemistry professor who (I think) believes he is the smarter of the two.  After a back and forth about simplifying life (her stance on why salt should be on the periodic table of the elements as SaLt instead of Na Cl - they are both four letters, she reasons, her way would be much easier) he receives this from her and considers re-evaluating his opinion about those with a Ph.D and those without.

I am going to let you in on a secret that could have my 3" heels revoked for revealing. What I am about to share with you is the Inner Workings of a woman's mind. No man gets a copy of this map, so don't go passing this around or posting it on the Internet. A few brave souls have learned some of it, but it's usually after two expensive divorces and at least one heart attack.

As you can imagine, most men are not attracted to a woman's mind, so I don't normally attach a picture of my brain (does this shot of my brain make my cranium look fat?). And I NEVER attach the key to the map. This is a first. Some items are Universal to Women and some are Woman Specific.

The Question Mark represents things we are willing to admit we don't know. Notice the verbiage. This is not necessarily that which we don't know, just that which we are willing to admit to not knowing. This area is not usually this large in most women, but I am a forward thinking woman. Things I don't want to know or learn also get stored here. Hidden in the depths of this area is the true meaning of why salt is listed as Na Cl and as a woman, I am honor bound to leave it there.

The Diamond represents my ability to be instantly, and sometimes mid-sentence, distracted by bright shiny objects -  the sparkling, twinkling sights and lights of Christmas are especially hazardous for my attention span. Rapid change of subjects are also stored in this location.

Which leads us to The Shoe. This represents my ability to spot cute shoes on sale at 20+ paces, with or without my glasses. This ability is not limited to shoes. Especially during the holidays, this section of the brain has been working overtime since July, constantly on the subliminal hunt for that perfect little intake of breath moment, of 'You shouldn't have' Christmas morning. There is not a dollar minimum or maximum (within reason) to this section as handmade/homemade/from the heart is often far more precious than gold. Or fine Italian leather, as the case may be.

The Lips represent my spoken and written ability to laugh/tease/cajole or verbally horsewhip as the occasion warrants. As I would much rather use my powers for good instead of evil, the last rarely makes an appearance as I would rather kill with kindness. That being said, I do not like confrontation, but will not run from it. The amount of caffeine coursing through my veins will determine the rate at which these words tumble forth. I do have an Internal Edit Button, but it is extraordinarily dusty, smaller than my G-spot & harder to find, and buried under 30 years of issues. (It's not to late to run screaming, you know).

The Heart, of course, represents, the heart of a woman. This represents the fires we would walk through for those we love. The tears shed for pound hounds that worm their way into your heart when you're not looking and change your life for the better in so many ways. I find this section of my brain squishing into the alternative areas that were delineated for other purposes as the more I give, the more I receive and I am blessed with some of the most amazing people in my life.

The Apple is for the teacher and is making a special guest appearance today on our map.

Self Improvement is in there somewhere, but as the book on procrastination hasn't been finished yet, an icon has yet to be assigned.